I'm still here and very alive today
There are so many times, I feel I'm on my way
To leave this earth and all behind
To go with You Lord and eternal peace
 And complete happiness find.

I know there is so much waiting up there
You've told me this many times and now I share
With whoever will read these lines and finds
Maybe something here that they feel too
Lord, You already know when it will be
   Not just for me, but for all of mankind

  Last night I had one of those attacks
where I knew I was in danger of death. 
(Adding now) It happens often anymore,
I've already said my good-byes and I just prayed
and talked to Jesus and asked Him again
to forgive me of all;
thanked Him for the many blessings,
and told Him O.K.  I'm ready,
let it happen if it is your Will.
But again he sent life back to me.
My face and hands were even turning blue... was cold as ice.
Sugar had dropped quickly to 32 and still dropping,
and blood pressure very high...
heart was acting up and nitroquik helped that.

I ask you, my friends, to pray for my loved ones I'm leaving behind...
That God comfort them and shower them with blessings.
I want as many blessings on them as I have known.
Please bring them into your loving arms
and into your heavenly kingdom,
so we will meet again.
My family being my beautiful Son and His little family.
He was and is the biggest blessing in my life.
Will tell you another time why I named him Victor.

I pray that I will just go peacefully and not become
like a veggie and still live on.
I saw this with my mother... God let her live, suffer
and she begged God to take her home.
She was at 60-70 pounds when she left
and had been like 200 plus.
Was bedfast three and half years
after a massive stroke on that Christmas Eve.
  Was an invalid, could not even turn herself over.
Christmas Dec 24, 1988, she had the stroke,
with brain surgery that was too late,
she got skull sewed back up
and this was also their Anniversary date.

I want to be with her someday,
and I know I will be.
It eases my mind to know,
she will never hurt ever again.
Before she passed, she had been semicoma
for almost a month.
When she woke up, I was there.
Her eyes were so sparkly and beautiful.
She told me she was going to move,
and that she had seen her new home.
With music, and flowers and happiness
--- then smiled and asked me when I was going to move;
I told her, "mom I don't know,
but I sure hope it will be right next door to you."

There is another story as to why she said to me,
"I am like your baby, and you are my baby."
So much more from my beginning to now.
But God has blessed me abundantly
and tells me He wants to use me,
and I say, "Lord, Here I am, use me."

Will tell you in another message about
my sugar reading being 0-zilch.

Before I write another book, will stop for now.
This is what happens when I start writing about some things.

All the above was written some few months ago.
So will not add more to this and
I pray that someone gets a touch from God
after knowing, there is a God.
And he has a plan and purpose for each of us.
He has shown me so much
as I have dedicated my heart and soul to Him.

It's Me Again, Lord
Shirley




Written By Shirley Updike
May 30, 2004
©2004 All Rights Reserved